I think all of us at some point in our lives have loved another. Whether it’s a family member, child, pet, significant other, someone in our lives has touched us and felt love to that person. Love is so simple, yet for some reason it’s also one of the most terrifying things to experience. The fear of betrayal stings us all so deep, especially after experiencing such feelings. However, with that being said, love comes with other emotions. I believe its these emotions that make love so terrifying rather than love itself. The fear of losing love, the hurt that is experienced when a love one passes on, or is sorely missed, or hurts us. When you love someone it’s almost like you are giving them a gift that can be used to hurt you. I don’t know about you guys, but that is something that terrifies me. No one likes being hurt right?
Emotional pain can be just as serious sometimes as physical pain according to many psychologists. In fact, it was Dr. Kip Williams from Perdue that said, “While both types of pain can hurt very much at the time they occur, social pain has the unique ability to come back over and over again, whereas physical pain lingers only as an awareness that it was indeed at one time painful.” Memories can be painful no matter how hard we strive to forget. Years down the road we can become haunted by memories from the past you feel has been long ago. Even happy memories and good years can become bitter and painful depending on the outcome. So, how is this something we can overcome? How do we get past such emotional strife and hardships? It seems to me from my research that if we ignore the issue and try to pretend it didn’t happen, it festers deep. We find it seeping through afraid to love again, or bothering us years later leaving us remembering an old smile from days gone by. These questions have forced me to jump deeper into research.
Teal Scott once said, “Love never hurt or deceived anyone. Only fear can do that. It just so happens that for most of us, our love is cradled in so many layers of fear that we can no longer differentiate between our fear and our love.” So then one can ask, how do we face our fears and move past this? How can we make ourselves stronger, and better, so we stop hurting ourselves and living in fear?
I found a pic that says it’s from a Zig Ziglar that says, “F-E-A-R has two meanings: ‘Forget Everything And Run’ or ‘Face Everything And Rise’ The choice is yours.” Facing your fears are not easy. I know many times in my life it seemed easier to just pack up and run and move away and try ignoring the situation or my feelings about what was hurting me or driving me away. And it is easier to run away, and dive into something new in a new place, with new people, and have new experiences. However, over time, the feelings follow you and creep back into your soul.
So I guess the only thing I can do at this point in my life is to try and face my fears. One of my fears lately is getting back out there to meet new people and make new friends because it’s scary to think I can survive being hurt after what happened to me. But now I know that I can. If I survived my past, I KNOW I can survive my future. That feeling and thought is so liberating! Think about it, what have you been through that has been painful, that you didn’t think you could see the sun again, or you could get through? Yet here you are today. We are stronger for it and I hope, we are better for it. I know I’m trying to see the sun again. I no longer fear love. I still fear disappointment and hurt, but one step at a time, and I hope with time, I will overcome that too.
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