I had the lucky privilege to begin graduate school this week! It’s been a challenge, but a welcoming one. I find myself struggling to learn my new routine to balance my work and school and social life. I fear that the last few years of focusing just on my work life has left me a little rusty on everything else. However, lately, I have been reminded of something I read from Albert Einstein, “Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving.” So, I decided to take his advice and keep moving forward. It’s actually been quite rewarding. In many ways I feel like I’m starting to come together as everything is falling around all over the place. But, while keeping busy doing the things I love to do, I have noticed a tremendous decrease in my stress levels. This is amazing. So, what is the reason?
The last few years I have spent stressed out of my mind. I have gained weight, my self-esteem was dropping, and I had no idea what I was going to do with the obstacles I had before me. I felt completely alone, despite the fact I was in a relationship with someone I loved deeply for years, yet I was always stressed out of my mind with all the responsibilities and weight of the world on my shoulders. Now that I am free of that, I feel like I had forgotten what real peace and stress-free life really is. I am busier now than I had been this past decade, tighter on my finances then I had been before, yet I feel like I don’t have a worry or care in the world anymore and it feels good!
So, I have to ask myself, why do I feel this way? I mean, I was with a man I loved deeply, playing in theme parks, traveling, and spending more times with TV and video games than preparing for the future. Sounds like a real blast doesn’t it? Well, it was. However, over time there was no point or purpose in it. I was just existing to exist. My life became meaningless and it ate at me like a cancer each day. Now, I think I have found my reason.
Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, “The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.” The meaning of living well can vary between people. To me, it means making a positive difference in life, and having true meaning to your life. It’s a beautiful sentiment by Ralph Wald Emerson isn’t it? I think I am beginning to understand what he means. With my job and my writing tools I do on the side, I have noticed my responsibilities and writings are starting to matter to some people, especially at work. That feeling of being useful has given me more peace then I can ever imagine. I hope to one day expand my writing, maybe inspire others to dream and live, but mainly as Ralph Waldo Emerson said, live well.
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