Over the last few weeks, many different things have been on my mind. For starters, I have thought how fast time has gone by. It took someone to take me away from my desk and go somewhere new to realize how much I have been missing. Lately, I have spent more time at work or school, that I haven’t had a moment to spend with my loved one. I found myself having 14-hour days in front of my computer between my work and school, and not leaving the house in weeks. I realized, I lost my balance. What happened?
It was Charles Dickens who said, “Some people are nobody’s enemies but their own.” I realized I had become my biggest enemy. I wasn’t taking care of my body sitting in front of a computer for that long per day. I wasn’t taking care of my personal needs, or my family needs. I was merely throwing that part of myself away for extra work that wasn’t required of me, which will still be there in the morning, and longer than expected hours of study. No wonder I had been stressed out of my mind? No wonder I haven’t been feeling well under those conditions. I literally felt I would never catch up and everything would fall apart. Luckily, I had someone to remind me that I was on a path of self-destruction I couldn’t even see.
A week away from my work and reality was really hard for me to accept at first. A whole week is just going to push me back farther. That’s exactly what I told myself. Has anyone else felt this way? I literally had dread, stress, and anxiety about going on a vacation! After I arrived at my destination, I realized how silly I must seem. I have become a full-fledged work-a-holic. I am honestly curious how many others feel this way. I finally told myself to take a deep breath. And slowly, I began to relax.
I realized something after a couple of days. I realized that I started to feel more like myself again. I was laughing more, I felt relaxed, and I missed myself, which was strange because before the vacation I didn’t even realize how much I had lost of myself. But there I was, missing myself feeling so free for the first time in I don’t know how long. I realized then that I had to change my priorities. Yes, work is important. Yes, school is important. But what is more important than who we are and the people we love?
Now, I am back from my vacation and plunged back into life, and I feel so calm knowing that I am putting my priorities and life back together. Each day I will make sure I am not losing myself in unnecessary work and long hours of ignoring myself or my loved ones. Do you think, if more people tried that, there would be less stress or anxiety disorders? Maybe people would be calmer and happier. What do you think?
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