One thing I love in this world is watching people of any age succeed. It doesn’t matter if it’s a toddler learning to walk, a student passing a difficult test, or a parent handling their many bags in their arms while keeping tabs on their children. Life has taken off and in its wake, has left our heads spinning during the quiet moments wondering where life is going or how we are going to accomplish something. Yet, I can’t help but think the answer is in the place most people never think to look.
I have spent a great deal of time since the pandemic trying to survive with the rest of the world. Trying to figure out my place in this ever-changing world feels as easy as winning a fistfight with a bear. However, that is not true. We already have a place. What I have learned is, it’s our simple, everyday choices that decide if that place will stay the same, or change and in what manner.
Self-doubt is one of the greatest villains we will ever face as a human race. Our entire world has been set up to cause doubt in ourselves when we see others doing or getting what we want, especially when we are not ready to receive it yet. People have trained their minds that they can’t do something and it’s better to not try than to fail. To that, I will say wake up! That is a lie you are telling yourself. People often put others down they don’t want to succeed to make them look better. Don’t believe me? Watch politics, social media, or any show or movie and you will see what I mean. Jealousy or a pang of hunger for some kind of power drives people to cause doubt in ourselves and others. The good news is you can overcome this. You deserve to be honored. You deserve to have your dreams.
My students often tell me they are scared to answer because “what if I get it wrong?” they say. If I had a dollar for every time I heard this question, I could retire and live a wealthy life. I always respond in the same way. I take a deep breath and ask, how can you expect to learn if you don’t know what doesn’t work? I continue to explain how did they learn to walk without concentrating on it every second? Practice. They had to fall, many times and learn to take a step or two before learning to walk, and eventually ran. Eventually, we had to learn to trust ourselves and our balance in order to walk successfully. Learning balance is part of walking and each time we failed we learned from it. I truly believe failing is the best form of learning. Learning what doesn’t work will always lead you to the path of what will work. Self-doubt is causing you to think you are not enough, that you are wrong, and that is the saddest loss of all.
Inside each one of us, we have a strong desire for something. It could be anything from a toy, a feeling, or a dream. For some, it’s family. Others may dream of the perfect house, car, or spouse. However, that self-doubt often holds us back as we watch from a distance. We are too scared or fearful to “sound stupid” as some expressed to me, or the dreaded word “fail.” The best moment I see during these kinds of moments is when I ask the kid why can’t you have that item or meet that perfect person? “I don’t know” or “sometimes they just won’t like me” is another common answer I get. So now I ask you, if that were true, then would that really make you happy? Self-doubt has been controlling the masses for longer than we imagine.
This leaves the answer to overcoming these doubts within ourselves. Nothing will change if we don’t create change. With every failure comes success. Every rejection either personally or professionally will show you a better path if you have the courage to take it. Trust your inner warrior who is screaming to come out. Trusting yourself will also help you to discover yourself. Your inner warrior will show you the way and help you deal with the chaos of life. The inner warrior in us all stands at the ready if only we are brave enough to stand and embrace them.
Roy T. Bennett once said, “The more you believe in yourself, the more you could trust yourself. The more you trust yourself, the less you compare yourself to others.” These words are powerful and in my experience, true. Think for a moment about what is holding you back at this moment. Were the thoughts positive, or negative? If you are thinking negatively then change it. That is the first step to true change. Yes, it takes time and practice, but cutting out that doubt and negative talk can make a huge difference in not only how we see ourselves, but how we see the world around us too. It does not change overnight, but with a series of daily actions in re-directing your thoughts, with time you will see a difference.
This week, I hope each one of you finds your inner warrior. Like a lighthouse shining through your soul. Stand tall and let that warrior fight that self-doubt and stop that negative thinking. I truly believe if you try, you will see results. They may be small at first. Like recognizing a kind word or compliment, or seeing your inner self for the first time. Let it grow and enjoy the process of meeting yourself. After all, this life only happens once. Rise up and trust your heart. Life is worth it.
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