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When coming up with an article idea, I had compiled a list of many possible topics. As I casually asked a few co-worker friends which topic to choose, they all voted on this topic. Feeling intimidated or threatened by differences in other people seems to be a common theme in society today. Why is that?

When talking to my co-workers they mentioned they all struggled with this themselves. That is when I decided to look deeper into this topic, because I too have struggled with it. I know we all have our moments when we feel inadequate by someone else’s talents or appearance. I myself have felt that many times.

Lately, I have had the opportunity to get to know a few new people. Over the last few weeks, I have met so many people that it almost feels overwhelming. I think I have met more new people in the last month, then the previous 6 months combined. They are a very kind group of people. Full of light, and positive outlooks, and frankly, they seem to be a genuinely caring people. If I am completely honest with myself, at first it’s really intimidating. I mean these people are truly caring, and some of which have gone out of their way to talk to or help me, a perfect stranger. It has been a long time since I have witnessed this kind of peace and goodness in others. In fact, I began to feel like I should run and hide because I began to feel like I am not a good enough person to be around such an amazing and good group of people. So, why do we all feel this way from time to time?

As I dug deeper into this topic I found this beautiful quote by Helen Keller. She stated, “Instead of comparing our lot with that of those who are more fortunate than we are, we should compare it with the lot of the great majority of our fellow men. It then appears that we are among the privileged.”

This is a great concept. It’s easy to look at people and admire individually, but as a whole the comparison becomes quite different. However, most experts believe low self-confidence or self-esteem comes from traumatic experiences, or too much pressure is placed upon them to be perfect. This causes us in turn to analyze others we can’t help but wish we were more like. This kind of circle is intimidating!

Feeling like we have some kind of reason to be nervous or scared of someone who is different, or seem intimidated because we are somehow not up to par with them, causes divisions among people, and deeper cuts into our self-image. Sometimes we are frightened of others differences because they are from a culture or lifestyle that is not of our own. Things that are different can be fearful. Differences can also be threatening because they make us feel more isolated then we are, or we have to change or adapt ourselves to fit in, when we feel like we don’t belong. This kind of pressure and fear can be overwhelming and create more stress that is unnecessary and holding you down.

Imagine a dominoes effect. It starts with a small feeling like being less beautiful or important than another. This leads to thinking differently of ourselves, which leads to feeling isolated and alone. One by one these feelings of inadequacy pile up until the dominoes of self-worth begin to crumble around us. Before we know it, we are facing depression, isolation, and feelings of fear and desires to be accepted. If we can teach ourselves to overcome this from the beginning, and prevent ourselves from comparing to others who have lead a completely different life than you have, you will have the power within yourself to see the amazing qualities we each have within ourselves. These qualities are already there inside our souls.

You see, if we stop and look at people who intimidate us, or maybe make friends with them, maybe we can learn to be more like these people we admire and look up to? Is that so much of a stretch? Eleanor Roosevelt said, “You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, ‘I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.” That is a wise woman to be able to look fear in the face and gain confidence, courage, and strength when most people want to shy away or rat themselves down more.

Craig Sheffer said, “You can’t compare an apple to an orange. It will cause a lot of self-esteem issues.” This statement made me laugh. An apple is beautiful and delicious and comes in green, yellow, and red. An orange, is also beautiful and delicious, however looks very different from an apple. Does this make the orange less beautiful or less delicious? Of course not. But we are not apples and oranges are we? We are people who fight each day to fit into this crazy world around us. Each day people are hurting others, judging others, and people feel alone to fight their internal wars or problems they are facing, while comparing themselves to someone else who may be in an entirely different situation or chapter in their life. So, why don’t we all take a pause on comparing ourselves to others and take a long look in the mirror as we look at ourselves? I challenge everyone to find three things they like about what they see in themselves. That’s all, just three things and write them down. Each day for a week, read them over and over and see how your own confidence can grow, and your own light can shine a little bit brighter. And who knows? Maybe you will find yourself in a more positive frame of mind without the feeling the need to compare yourselves to others. Because be honest with yourself, the fact that you are here living in this world, is already one beautiful thing.