Will Rogers once said, “Even if you are on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.” Isn’t that a good point? Lately I feel I have been behind on my work because I am starting graduate school and taking on new adventures and meeting new people who are taking me all kinds of fun places. However, as I read over my first assignment for school I have to admit I struggled. Ok, what is my problem? It’s my very first assignment and I can’t even concentrate enough to finish reading it? I was getting so frustrated with myself, I turned on a movie and made myself dinner instead. This happened for several days. The assignment is almost due and I couldn’t bring myself to do it. Finally, I was talking about it with a friend. “What’s holding you back?” she asked. I replied, “I couldn’t concentrate. I am just rusty I guess.” To which she replied, “What’s the real reason?” I have to admit this spun me for a second. Why couldn’t I concentrate? What was holding me back? And why was I just sitting on the right track or the path I needed to go without moving forward? I had to pause and really think about it and I realized my doubts and fears were holding me back, and I didn’t even realize it.
When I have discussed going to college before, it wasn’t a popular idea with many people in my life. When I graduated with a bachelor’s degree, I was so excited! I immediately expressed excitement for graduate school to which a reply from the person dearest to me at the time said, “you have to be super smart to be in graduate school and I don’t think you can do it, but if you want to waste money go ahead.” I remember being surprised and kind of hurt when he said that, but I brushed it off and went on with my day postponing my education. I had no idea how much it really bothered me until now. Why should his or anyone’s opinion hold me back? And why is that negative voice and person still in my head? I believe I can graduate from my graduate school with a master’s degree and you know what? I am going to prove it. Now that I have accepted what is holding me back, it gave me new determination to continue down my path.
I am hoping to learn a lot in graduate school. I am going for writing because it is something I love to do. I have a lot of writing projects going on in my life right now, along with two websites and a book to complete. I was an idiot for letting someone tell me I wasn’t smart enough and fill my head with doubts about myself. It’s sad how powerful words can be. They can inspire, create, and destroy. Words are not to be taken lightly.
Nathaniel Hawthorne once said, “Words: So innocent and powerless as they are, as standing in a dictionary, how potent for good and evil they become in the hands of one who knows how to combine them.” We have all been there, we all know what it feels like to have words tear us apart. I guess what I have learned is to be more mindful of my words and not let other words confuse me or get in my head. It does make me wonder though, how many of us are letting things hold us back without even realizing it?
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