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With every passing day, our past is always behind us, and our future is always ahead of us. Yet sometimes, we all seem to get stuck with one foot behind us, and the other ahead, rather than stopping for a moment to think about why we are not going anywhere. I have noticed this in my life sometimes. What is holding me back from moving to my future? Why are some things so hard to let go of? I think the answer to this lies somewhere in believing the past was good for us, or the love we had for something or someone from our past.

Is it because that’s what we knew or all we have known? Or maybe, because it’s what we really wanted, or thought we wanted at some point in our lives? Maybe the world tells us that’s how things are supposed to be? However, if I stop asking so many questions, and really strive to see some answers, over time, the vision becomes clearer to me. The past, despite my love for many people, including some family, and experiences I had, the past is in the past for a reason. Those experiences and people would still be a huge part of my life, if they didn’t make me feel less about myself, or hinder me from going to my future. Yet, sometimes I get stuck in the hopes of thinking maybe time has changed things in the people I wish I didn’t have to leave behind. Maybe time has given them clarity into what love and acceptance is, even if my life or lifestyle is not of their own? Yet, my experience in recent months with opening a door to the past and keeping one foot there, has lead me right back to the same problems and heartache that it was before. That was me, keeping one foot in the past.

It can be hard for all of us to say goodbye to some place, someone, or maybe many people, no matter the reason and cause a lot of sorrow or grief. It was said by Vicki Harrison, “Grief is like the ocean; it comes in waves, ebbing and flowing. Sometimes the water is calm, and sometimes it is overwhelming. All we can do is learn to swim.” This is what I have noticed in my own life. I can go several days being happy and free, then have a day or memory surface where it seems tough to survive. Sometimes it’s like my emotions and memories are rising and falling, and there are many things I wish to forget. They tell me, this is the process of grief. However, the more we learn to swim through these emotions and eventually get past that ocean from the past, we can finally move towards our future.

So, how do we close that door, or learn to swim through whatever it is that is holding us back? I found a quote online that says “The first step towards getting somewhere is to decide that you are not going to stay where you are.” I never could figure out who said that, but I think there is a lot of truth to this statement. Admitting to yourself you need to let go, is the first way you can let go. By visualizing where you are and where you want to be, and then take the steps in getting there, you can close that door to what is holding you back and move on to a new future, or a new life. I know it’s easier said than done, I myself have struggled with this at times in my life.

Nicholas Sparks explains this well. He says, “It happens to everyone as they grow up. You find out who you are and what you want, and then you realize that people you’ve known forever don’t see things the way you do. So you keep the wonderful memories, but find yourself moving on.” The people who are healthy and good in your life, will support you and encourage you and help you move on. It’s the people that are unhealthy in your life, who will make you feel less than worthy, or less than capable and keep you from being lifted up. More like, they are pulling you down. Learning to see the differences in these kinds of people from your life can help spare yourself so much heart ache and regret. That is why it’s important to find who you really are, and recognize those who truly love you for who you really are. Then, you might find yourself free to walk down that path. Not with one foot in the past, but moving to your future.

Saying goodbye to people you love like friends, family, or past loves who bring you low self-esteem or tears is not always easy. But I do believe if we focus on people who love us unconditionally and give us encouragement, people who don’t just put up with you because they have to, but accept you for who you are and love you for it, then you will be better off. This is an important lesson I have learned and I hope to remember it always as I walk down my path to my future.