I consider myself among the lucky few to actually say I have a very dear friend. Finding true friends are hard to come by. Most people, myself included, can get caught up in their own world and get to busy or distracted to think about my friends sometime and what they may be going through. That is not the case for my dear friend. I constantly strive to be more like her.
Upon a recent conversation I had with her, I was telling her my fears and frustrations about the possible future ahead unsure what to do or think, and how angry I am at this crazy world sometimes. With her, sometimes I can actually hear her smiling as crazy as that sounds. She patiently listened to me letting me vent. Then, she gave me a loving response followed by a quote from who I believe it was Marianne Williamson. However, many other people have been quoted using this particular quote too.
Marianne Williamson said, “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?” The quote goes on to say, “It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
Those are powerful words when you really stop to think about it. Why are people like myself more afraid of the positive and who we really are deep inside? How many people stop to think about it? Is it because as a society, we are subjected to so much stress and negative feelings that the negative feelings makes us feel more comfortable? Is it the fear of disappointment or being ridiculed? As I was pondering this question and searching the web, I found a quote from Sigmund Freud. He stated, “Out of your vulnerabilities will come your strength.” That simple sentence cut my soul like glass. I guess it’s easy to put on a show and try to look strong and perfect for others, but the truth is from what I have learned, or am at least beginning to see is when we ignore our vulnerabilities, we are robbing our self of overcoming them.
I once dated a guy who would get so stressed out over everything it was hilarious. Only, when he was stressed he would throw tantrums and pout and I’m talking over things like doing the dishes or paying rent, the very basics of life. He hated for people to know he even had a girlfriend, or had a family because it made him feel vulnerable, and when people would find out, he couldn’t handle it. As a result, I saw how little I could rely on him because he was so afraid of being vulnerable and honest, he felt he had to be perfect for everyone all the time, which made him so he couldn’t even handle the simple things in life, like being honest about things, or doing the dishes. His parents still had to pay many of his bills even though he was in his thirties because of his serious fear of responsibility. When things got too real for him and he needed to become the responsible man we all knew he was capable of, he panicked and moved back home to his parents and siblings. Despite this fear of being vulnerable or becoming an adult, or even breaking my heart, he was a good man capable I believe of being a great man one day. If only he wasn’t afraid of the light inside himself, or his inner strength or feeling vulnerable.
I know I am guilty of that too at times. I do not like people to see me cry or know some of my painful experiences sometimes, but one thing I have learned now is that by sharing some of these vulnerabilities with others, by trying not to be afraid of people seeing the real me, maybe I can help another. Maybe I can be stronger and make more friends who can rely on each other? It’s definitely not easy. But who was it that said it may not be easy but will always be worth it? I honestly can’t remember, but whoever it was is right. I already feel better by opening up to my dear friend. I guess I have some things to work on but isn’t that what life is for? We all have a great twisted life here on earth, all of us, no matter who we are, where we come from, what we believe, everyone on this earth has a simple choice. We can all choose to take the best out of life and try to be better, or take the worst from life and dwell either remaining dormant or reverting back making the worst out of situations. I know we are all in this world together trying to survive on a daily basis. I know I would feel at peace if more people tried to make the best out of life and try to be better, rather than worse. So, that is what I am going to do. I am going to try to open up myself to improve on my vulnerabilities and make the best of my situation.
That leaves me with my final thought: Michael Jackson once sang a song called Man in the Mirror. If you haven’t heard that song I recommend listening to it. Not because I personally am a Michael Jackson fan, which I totally am by the way, I love his music, but because I feel there is a lot of truth in that song personally. After all, change can start with one person, one thought, one pebble in the pond, causing rippling effects on the world. After all, change can be so terrifying but much needed.
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Your quote is one of my favorites too. I first heard it in a speech by Nelson Mandella, one of my personal heroes. And it is so true. We confuse self-degradation with humility. A truly humble person does not fail to realize her value, the light within her, she simply recognizes the source of that light and doesn’t use it to elevate herself above others. “Let your light so shine”, the Savior said, “so man may see your good works and glorify your Father which is in Heaven.”